The Power to Move On

I feel like I saw this preview of Brandinn French's Dark Girls a while back. I saw it, had a few memories surface, then forgot about it until recently. I happened upon this on Facebook I think.. or maybe Google Reader. I don't recall. Anyway, it's really sad to see and remember what a difference people make about the color of one's skin -- within the same race.

Anyway, it also reminded me of why I forgot about the movie's existence, I also got over it. I know that it's tough getting over bad memories and abusive treatment. I'm a little frightened to even divert my lovely blog of dance away from its intended purpose, but I do feel there is something to be learned from this.

I think what helped me get over some of the "dark girl" trauma was accepting the following: Some people are just stupid jerks.

It's true. There are lots of people who are insecure and will direct their fury with themselves outwards. If they fail at something, they want you to fail. If they feel ugly, they want you to feel ugly. If they feel inferior in any way, guess who they're going to try and drag down? This video totally reminded me of that. I remember when I first mentioned something about dancing several years ago and the immediate response was "you're too tall to dance." What the entire fuck? Too old I can understand. I can even understand not thin enough (actually I cannot), but too tall? Seriously? Go back to the couch, my little potato!

A lot of people try to marginalize you and say that you're ugly, fat, tall, or whatever, and it's really hard to silence so much nasty talk. I think it helps to surround yourself with people you share goals and ideas with and forgo hanging around douche nuggets.

So to the ladies in this documentary, I just think, "I hope you don't talk to those people very often if you can help it. I hope you don't talk to them at all if you can help it!" Anyway, I fully support what Mr. French is doing here -- starting a discussion about how hurtful bullying and internalized racism can be. You're never too black, too ugly, too anything to be who you are and be happy about it. However, there also comes a point that you've got to do what you've got to do to separate yourself from the bullshit.

This preview just reminds me of what I left behind (after many years of trying), what I am, and what I hope to continue to grow into -- someone who's just glad to be around, who doesn't even hear or notice this silliness anymore. Someone who isn't too dark to be lovely, or too tall to dance, breathe, or be happy.


Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.